I am going to try not to look at any of you so that I can get through this.
My Name is Nathan Carman. I am the oldest of these guys. I thought I would try to lighten the mood a little by sharing 6 facts about William Carman. Most of these are meant to be funny so you can laugh if you want to.
I am not claiming them to be perfect, because some are coming from the memory of a kid.
The only rock and roll song my dad liked was “Jump” by Van Halen. At first I don’t think he knew it was a rock song, because it was the Chicago Cubs theme song in the 1980’s
Dad was an avid Chicago Cubs fan when. But as a kid I can only remember going to Chicago Sox games. I think it was because he got free tickets from a driver at Citgo.
I’ve never seen my dad in shorts, unless you count boxer shorts.
Dad was great at the Dad Jokes. But he rarely told a regular joke that I understood the first time around.
Dad was a kind man. Apart from traveling in rush hour, I never heard him say a mean word about another person. Even on the Highway he only really said, Dadgummit, DUDE!”
And this is the introverts dilemma than many of us introverts face. He would love that everyone is here together today, but would hate that the whole party is about him.
This is not a perfectly thought out one, I just wrote it this morning, and dreamed about it last night, but here goes.
Dad had some hopes and dreams. He had hopes of retirement. He had dreams of a little travel. He even talked about a cruise. But his main hope was that all those that he cared about (and he cared about everyone of you) would do one of three things. Those 3 things were that you would come to Christ, get closer to Christ, or come back to Christ.
My dad’s woodworking projects over the years were usually not made so that you could say look at his beautiful piece of art. Most were made, like that frame in the back, that had held one of my moms paintings before this, to allow you to see the beauty inside that frame. It was an accessory that helped point you to the good stuff. My dad had hopes of being a frame through which you saw Jesus and all that comes with that sight. In my opinion, he did pretty good at being that frame.
My dad was not a man of many words. He wasn’t a man that often taught us lessons with his words. He was a man that silently led us by his example. Over the last few days, I have recalled lots of small memories. They aren’t memories full of huge emotional connection or huge impact. They’re just memories with my dad. But I know that even these “insignificant” memories have shaped me to be the man that I am today.
My dad taught me to ride a bike. I think of him when I teach my children to ride a bike.
My dad taught me to write the number 8. I think of him when I write numbers.
My dad played catch with me in the yard. I think of him when I play sports with my kids.
When learning to drive, my dad taught me that the roads are always slickest when it first starts to rain because the built up oil from cars hasn’t been washed away yet. I think of him when I’m driving and it starts to rain.
One of my favorite things as a young child was to hear my dad say, “Gravity’s getting to me” as he crawled off the couch and lay on the floor to watch a Chicago Cubs game. I would cuddle up to him and watch André Dawson, Ryne Sandberg, and Mark Grace disappoint us once again. When my kids cuddle up to me, I think of my dad.
My dad took us to Cubs games. Once during a Cub game he took me to the bathroom. He and I were using the urinals and all of the sudden he jumped and misfired in the urinal and said, “Whoa”. Citgo had just given dad a pager. He’d only had it a few days. Apparently it was the first time he got a page while peeing. His reaction was hilarious. Yes, sometimes I even think of my dad when I use the urinal.
In addition to these memories, there were plenty of deeper lessons that I learned from my dad. Here are five of them:
1. How to Treat a Woman
My dad never raised a hand against my mom or any other woman. I can’t even recall him raising his voice at my mom. That’s not say he didn’t get frustrated and have heated discussions with my mom. But he had no inkling of causing physical harm or showing domination over her. In the last couple of years, especially as my mom has been battling cancer, my dad showed a newfound care for my mom. Outside of his job, and church-related responsibilities, his life was about fulfilling the needs of my mom. From juicing veggies for her, to helping her do her treatments, my dad was all in with helping my mom. I love this about my dad. Especially because that’s not the example that his dad left for him. My dad’s legacy is one of care.
2. How to “Walk it Off”
My dad’s favorite phrase when one of us boys got hurt was, “Walk it Off”. I remember playing catch in the yard and taking a baseball to the eye. Of course I went down crying. But my dad said, “Walk it Off”. These words were magical. Because as you walked it off, you suddenly felt better. You were able to continue on. Within a few minutes, I was back up throwing the ball again. But beyond the magical powers of those words, I think these words represent my dad well. As life threw him curveballs, my dad would quietly, but assuredly “walk it off”. He had the ability to keep moving forward even in difficult times. By these words he taught his children to keep moving forward. As my children encounter various trials, I hope that I’m also helping them to “walk it off”. To push into relationships, to never give up on people, to not give up on a task or work, to take one to the eye, walk it off, and get back in the game.
3. Loyalty Matters
My dad kept his promises and when he committed, he committed completely. When I was a kid, the church we were members of, and where my dad also served as the treasurer, decided to get rid of the pastor of the church. When this was going down, I remember hearing a group of people discussing how they were going to deal with it. My dad simply said, “We need to support our pastor.” And that was the end of it. And he was right. Later, as I’ve been a part of different churches, that message has stuck with me. “We need to support our pastor”.
My parents were married for 47 years! Never did I fear that my dad would leave my mom. I knew he was in it to the end. My dad worked for Citgo for 35 years. He was months away from retiring. He didn’t complain about his work. For the last 19 years, since moving from the East Chicago plant, he has loved working with coworkers and the drivers that have come through.
4. Give Generously, Even When it Hurts
One time my dad was taking some criticism for giving some money to a “homeless” man in Chicago. It was the typical story, the man seemed like a con-artist. And even if he wasn’t a con-man, he would probably use it for alcohol or drugs. Finally, my dad spoke up to the criticism and said, “It’s not my responsibility to judge how the man is going to use the money. God has called us to give. He will judge how they use the money.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve used that lesson when encountering the poor and beggars.
My dad would give the shirt off of his back if he saw someone in need. He’s the kinda guy that you had to be careful about telling your situation to, because he might just go out and buy whatever it was that you were needing. The last time we stayed with my parents after coming home from China, we were sleeping on a blowup mattress in the spare room. One morning my wife had moved to the couch because, well let’s face it, blowup mattresses are uncomfortable. My dad noticed this, left the house and came back with a bed.
5. Life without Jesus is Meaningless
My dad didn’t have a lot of hobbies. He didn’t have many things that he was passionate about. He had talents and skills, but they weren’t a driving factor for him. Except for one thing. Jesus. My dad’s deepest and most obvious passion was Jesus. He longed for all his family and friends and those he worked with to love Jesus more. My dad would never stand on a stage, but if he were to, this is what he would say. So, consider this his final message to you:
Jesus, God’s son, came to earth and lived a sinless life.
He willingly sacrificed his life and died on the cross, killed by the religious and political leaders of the time. Betrayed by one in his inner circle.
But Jesus was God, and the grave could not hold him. 3 days later he rose from the dead, defeating the power of satan.
He did this because the human race – you and me – needed to be redeemed. We are sinful and broken people. Without Jesus’ sacrifice, God could not bear our sinfulness. But when Jesus sacrificed himself for us, a relationship with our perfect and holy God became possible.
You can have a relationship with God. It couldn’t be easier. “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.” For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him. For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”
For those who believe already, my dad would urge you to live for the Lord. Just because we believe in Jesus does not mean that it is easy to pursue goodness and holiness. But we must read God’s word and follow him wholeheartedly.
Bill Carman, age 66,
went home to be with his Lord, July 11, 2019. He is survived by his wife,
Deborah, three sons, their wives and children. Bill grew up in northern Indiana
with his four sisters. He met his wife, Deborah, while in high school and
married in 1972. Not only was he a wonderful husband, he was also a dear father
to three sons and was a loving grandfather to twelve grandchildren. Bill proudly
served as a Senior Airman in the United States Air Force working as an Air
Traffic Controller, and later became a dedicated employee of Citgo Petroleum
for over 35 years. He will be greatly missed.
Well loved by both
friends and family, here are a few heartfelt words from his three sons to their
“My dad, Bill Carman, died unexpectedly yesterday. He was a good man, a caring father, grandfather, and husband. We will all miss him.” -Nathan Carman
“My dad was a good man and a great example of how to live and how to love those around him. He died today… His death left me wanting one more breakfast, one more Christmas jigsaw puzzle, one more thought-provoking FB post (that I always took for granted). But most of all, I want just one more conversation with him. He was a living testament of God’s love through Jesus and a measuring stick for how to live my life.” -Matthew Carman
“‘Loyal’ – That’s the word that I would use to describe my dad, Bill Carman. He was loyal to Jesus, his wife, his family, his church, and his job. He was not a man of many words, but the words he said were predictable, ‘love, Jesus, God, salvation’ being the highest among them. His last written words to me on my recent wedding anniversary were, ‘My only advice is to love God supremely and to love each other, lifting up the one who is down – Ecclesiastes 4:9-12′” -Jeremy Carman
Visitation and funeral
services will be held at Whitworth Memorial Baptist Church, 3014 Elm Hill Pike,
Nashville, TN 37214, on Monday, July 15. Visitation from 10am-12pm and funeral
service at 12pm.
In lieu of flowers,
donations may be given to Whitworth Memorial Baptist Church.
Although it wasn’t surprising, it still hurts none-the-less. My mother-in-law has passed away.
She lived well and she loved hard. She suffered through her cancer with dignity and strength. She died well.
Many wonderful things were said about her by her family that I agree with whole heartedly. I’ve told many people that she was an excellent mother-in-law. And it’s true. In-law relationships are often spoken of with disdain, but Vangie broke that stereotype in the way that she treated all of the spouses that her children chose. She often gloried in the fact that God provided the perfect mate to each of her children. Though we certainly didn’t eye to eye on every aspect, she treated me with respect and respected what I felt God was leading us to do.
As the days were looking more and more sure that she was going to pass, JK went ahead to try and be by her side and by her siblings’ sides in the hospital room. After a very rough 40 hours of traveling, missed flights and sleepless days, she and Eloise made it back. We’re grateful that she got to be with her mom for the last 2 days of her life.
I and the 3 older children followed only a few days later. Our travel was smooth all the way. But that didn’t mean that there weren’t some tired children. I was quite literally dragging Lucas through the airport as we went through immigration and awaited our luggage.
The funeral was really amazing. I’m so happy that my children got to be a part of healthy funeral and be a part of the celebration of the life of their grandma. I’m also proud to be a part of the family. Jacquelyn’s siblings and extended family are amazing. They handled the death of their mother, grandmother, aunt, sister and friend with grace, giving honor to our Father. Looking back, it seems odd that we even Facebook Lived the funeral. I was a bit worried that this would be insensitive when I suggested it. But the celebration that took place made it obvious that this was exactly the right thing to do. This type of hope and joy in the home going of one of His children should be shared.
Here’s the Facebook Live (via Youtube):
Here’s the slideshow we showed at the funeral service:
Below are some photos taken by Jacquelyn’s cousin, Steve. These are just the ones that have our family in them. He took a bunch more.